Man flips out after girlfriend refuses to share her bed with his 6-year-old son while his ex is giving birth: 'We had a deal and it feels weird'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Mar 20, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

Blended families are a fact of modern life, but they can sometimes be more complicated to navigate than more traditional dynamics. Sharing kids with an ex and figuring out who is going to do what and when is a notoriously difficult enterprise for many separated parents. Even when the custody battle is sorted, there are plenty of issues that can crop up and make things harder than you want them to be.

Adding new partners into the mix can sometimes be a factor in this. It is yet another person whose feelings and needs must be taken into account, and while kids should come first, this also has to be within the boundaries of what is best for everyone. It is a balancing act that can easily become the grounds for a disagreement if it isn't done right, and it's often inevitable that this will happen between partners at some point.

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    Cheezburger Image 10482472448
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One woman found herself struggling with this issue after her boyfriend was asked by his ex to take his younger child at the last minute as she had gone into labor. The couple lived in a small one bedroom apartment, and as a result, they had agreed that in these circumstances his kids would sleep with him in a mobile home when they were visiting. 

    However, her boyfriend tried to insist that she share a bed with his son. She refused, causing an outburst from him and a lot of difficult behavior as his son was staying. She wasn't sure if she was in the wrong.

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    AITA for not sharing my bed with my boyfriend's son?

    I (30f) and my boyfriend (34m) are together for almost a year, knowing each other for 3. He has 2 kids from previous relationship (6m and 14f), both of them are living with their mom 2,5h away from us. I don't have any kids and I don't want any, but I'm okay with his kids, but here is the thing. I don't have any real relationship with them as we see them 1-2x a month for couple of hours (we work 6-7 days per week and I have to drive as my bf doesn't drive). Another important thing, my boyfriend
    via Proud_Cat_13
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    deal that we will have the kids when she's gonna be staying in the hospital. I wasn't asked about it, I was told that this is going to happen, which I understood. But because my house is very small the deal was that him with the kids will stay in our boss's mobile (for the nights) which he had no problem with. And here goes the part where I might be the ah_le: his ex called him that her water broke (it was before her due date) and we have to come to pick up the younger one (the older one had to
    via Proud_Cat_13
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    them good night, expecting them to go to sleep to mobile. My boyfriend got mad at me that I won't let them sleep in the house even tho we had a deal about it. He slammed the door and off he went with his son, then they came back around 5 in the morning waking me up by slamming the door again. He said I'm a b for not letting them sleep here and he refused to understand that 1) we had a deal 2) I don't have any close relationship with his son and it feels weird to have share my personal space with
    via Proud_Cat_13
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    night (first two nights in my bed, then we made him bed next to ours). My boyfriend didn't care about me not sleeping well or anything, he also tried to kick me out and sneding me to sleep in the mobile. Another reason why I wasn't very happy about this all was the fact that one of my cats has recent history of stress UID (when my bf moved in), he was at the vets for couple of days (he had full blockage and almost didn't make it), so I really didn't want him to be stressing with new person in th
    via Proud_Cat_13
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    Most agreed her boyfriend was being unreasonable, but some also questioned her role.

    LonelyOwl68 ΝΤΑ You have been bamboozled by a master. Your boyfriend has manipulated you into allowing his kids to stay with you when you thought they would not be doing that. He's trampling all over any boundaries you have, and something tells me he'll continue to do so as long as you allow it. Also, your cat was there first, and is just as important as housing his kids, especially since there is a backup place for them to sleep but they didn't use it. Your bf also tried to kick you out of your
    via LonelyOwl68
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    Do you see the pattern here? Your bf is manipulating the situation so he gets what he wants, he's mean and snide to you when you object, and he's getting his own way, without even breaking much of a sweat. Hire a moving company to get his things out of your place and change the locks. He can take care of his own kids, they don't need to stay in your place, especially since it's so small and it's really putting you in a bad place. He just wants a place to park the kids, and you are paying the pri
    via LonelyOwl68
  • 08
    popcornstuffedbra And he doesn't drive!!!! YOU had to pick up HIS kid - girl?!?!
    via popcornstuffedbra
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    jessie_monster Doesn't drive AND lives 2.5 hours away from his kids. Father of the Year material, this one.
    via jessie_monster
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    Ok_Composer_9458 ΝΤΑ So he gaslighted you. then kicked you out of your own bed and then tried to kick you out of your own apartment as well. Its time to kick to him out of your life.
    via Ok_Composer_9458
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    Not_Good_HappyQuinn Did you read what you wrote? Leave him. You don't want kids and he has kids, that right there is a deal breaker.
    via Not_Good_HappyQuinn
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    Proud_Cat_13 OP I don't mind that he has kids, I knew that from the beginning and as I said, I'm getting along with them fine, but we don't spend much time together so form any closer relationship with them is kinda hard. Having kids is not a deal breaker for me as long as the guy has everything sorted with his ex, they have clear boundaries and they're not putting kids in the middle (which wasn't always the case here but that's another story).
    via Proud_Cat_13
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    irenehollimon ΝΤΑ I think you and your boyfriend might have moved too quickly in the living together part of your relationship. You really need your own space and he needs to learn how to keep his word. None of this drama would have happened if he had stuck with the agreement the two of you had made together.
    via irenehollimon
  • 14
    hellouterus Gotta agree with you there. Even though she's known him for three years she moved him, a guy with two kids who could ostensibly be expected to have them overnight sometimes, in to her home after only six months of being in a relationship. That's way too soon, in my opinion. Also... couldn't the kid have slept on the lounge or floor? He's six why does he need to be in the bed with them? It does sound like it was an emergency-type of situation, and these things happen.
    via hellouterus
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    Proud_Cat_13 OP I agree with that, he insisted to move in with me as he didn't want to live apart and be together just for one/two days per week (his words). About the kid - he was sleeping with us for two nights, which wasn't comfy at all (I don't think for either of us three), then we made him bed with blankets and pillows next to our bed and that was better for all of us. The little one was happy enough. It was an emergency but the mobile house was ready to use for them, so they could've stay
    via Proud_Cat_13
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    fullsends NTA. You made a deal and then he tried to make you look like the bad guy to the kid. I'm not sure why he is even fighting this hard to share a small bed with 2 other people. Seems like everyone is better off if they stay together in the trailer in the short term. I'm assuming you mean some sort of rv, camper type situation when you say "mobile" right? not just a car?
    via fullsends
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    Proud_Cat 13 OP It's a mobile house, 3 bedrooms (one with king size bed), kitchen, living room, bathroom etc, ready to use and also much bigger than my house. And it's also quite new. I actually didn't know the real reason why he didn't want to sleep there (he already slept there alone a few times when we had disagreements and he wanted to cool off). The only reason he told me was that he doesn't want to sleep without me.
    via Proud_Cat_13
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    Mommabroyles ESH You for getting involved with a guy who had 2 kids when you don't want any. We see this over and over again it rarely ever works unless your partner is just a total deadbeat who has zero interest in their children. He doesn't respect you and you don't want kids. This was never going to work.
    via Mommabroyles
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    Clean_Permit_3791 Slamming doors and calling you ab is not acceptable behaviour at all. Really question if this is how you want to be treated in your home. ΝΤΑ
    via Clean_Permit_3791
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    Lucy_Nell NTA. You boyfriend is a father and should have think of that before moving with you. He should have think about moving with you in another house/appartment, with rooms for his kids. But that's his problem, not yours. You and your cat don't have to accomodate the family, he should be the one thinking about his kids'needs
    via Lucy_Nell
  • 21
    mersadieeees NTA Girl runnnn run run. He can't drive yet lives 2.5 hours from his kids? Red flag #1. He's stomping on your boundaries and going back on a deal you both agreed on!!! Red flag #2. Knowing your cat has had issues yet insisting on bringing his kids anyway...? It's YOUR house and those cats are YOUR BABIES. Red flag #3. Get yourself a man that has his own house or can move you into a larger home and can drive like a normal adult, plus someone who actually respects you as a partner
    via mersadieeees
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    mu5tbetheone A light YTA. You're got involved with a guy with kids when you don't want a relationship with them. You could have a relationship with them if you chose to, even if you only see them briefly. I see one of my nieces once a year because she lives in a different country - I still make the effort to communicate without physically being there. If you could have made a bed for his son next to your bed one night, why not every night. - it must be freezing in this mobile thing, which is why
    via mu5tbetheone
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    9994204L Yta, if you don't wanna deal with kids then break up because you got minimum 12 more years.. these kids didn't ask for a sh dad, u gotta pick up his slack, or you'll be wondering what happened to ya cat at some point
    via 9994204L
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    wlfwrtr NTA But now you see your future. He doesn't care about you only what you can do for him. Time for him to move back out and you to move on.
    via wlfwrtr
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    Rhys-s_Peace ESH ⚫ your bf can't try to kick you out of your own house and honestly sounds like a drop kick for not having shared custody or being able to drive. ⚫ you are with someone with kids and should realise that this situation would likely happen and custody could change, if you didn't want your life to change date someone without kids
    via Rhys-s_Peace
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    Valuable-Life3297 ESH. I really feel bad for that poor 6 year old boy who when he is with his dad has to stay in someone else's home and sleep in a mobile because he's unwanted. His dad needs to get his own place if you're uncomfortable with having his kids around due to the cats or your prederences
    via Valuable-Life3297
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    FemalePhoenix Rising I tell single women with no kids that unless they love a single/divorced dad with kids MORE than life itself, RUN for your life! That single dad will be his personal nicest to you until he thinks he's "got" you, and then his behavior will deteriorate to his personal worse or worst. Those kids will impact your life FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! He has already shown n e you who he is. Believe him.
    via FemalePhoenixRising

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